February 3rd, 2021
So, who doesn't have an ex? Unless you're under-aged. I remember my first boyfriend. I had a big crush on him. His name was Donnell Owens. He had a big Afro, light skinned ( unfortunately I had a penchant for light-skin and hazel eyes)!, and gorgeous as hell. I was a little girl, but boy, did I have a thing for him!
I was innocent then, and the idea of loving someone for the first time (puppy love) make me want to twirl, twirl, twirl girl!
I remember walking to school and going by his house waiting for him to come out without being noticed. He had smiled at me a few days earlier and that's all I could remember. Oh, how I loved him! But he was on another page!
I wondered what I could do to make him notice me. The bullies at the school called me four eyes because of my glasses and I felt horrible. I tried to make him like me. Conversations, smiles, playing games. But he had eyes for someone else. Little did I know that the "trying to make him like me feeling" would follow me into my adult life
Now you may wonder what that has to do with "sex with your ex". Well here goes....many women have a problem letting go, or dealing with "rejection". When I was growing up, I had what I called the Cinderella Syndrome. You know, that bullshit fairly tale where a white prince rescues a white maid from poverty and provides a horse drawn round carriage for her to ride in. Now, I should have known better, but that's what I saw on television and that's what I read in school. No one ever told me that there was no Cinderella. And, there was most certainly no "Prince Charming".
It's fairy tales like that which do more harm than good. It took years for me to get out of the mindset that I needed a man . And oh, my goodness, don't ever get your heart broken. Who the hell knows how do get over a broken heart. Especially when that's the one thing in life that no one can tell you how to get over.
So, what does this have to do with sex with your ex! Everything. We were taught to wait on a man to find you. That men are not monogamous creatures and that their infidelity should be expected. That it's better to have half a man instead of no man. And just to "hang in there" until he changes. And, if he is good in bed...that is hard to replace. So, as I have thought from time to time...let me just have sex with him again, and see what happens.
When I did try having sex with an ex it was horrible! Why was I doing it? I really didn't even like his no good ass! I did not want to kiss him. I don't even think that I was there mentally. And then, the thought looming through my head became a reality! There was a knock at the door. Lo and behold, it was his girlfriend!
I almost fainted. And he held his head in his head like a damn fool. So, I hastily put on my clothes and hid in the closet. He tried to act like I had never been there. She could smell my perfume...but she could not find me. At that point, I realized that I had made myself vulnerable to harm or anything else that may have come out of that situation. There could have been an altercation. Someone could have been hurt. But it made me realize one thing...sleeping with your ex is not a good idea!
Part II: I Wanna Be White Dammit!
Imagine you're white....going to sleep after a wonderful day. No worries, well none other than the everyday things. You get home and relax, maybe drink some wine, have some dinner. Then you turn on the television, and the first thing that you see is a...what do you call those people? Rappers? Niggers? Niggas? What?
So, you look at the television for a while and think...damn, I'm glad I'm not like that. Or that I have to hang out with "those people." Your partner comes in the room with the normal "hey babe" stuff that's said everyday when you get home. And you say "Honey...look at these people on television! Your partner walks into the room and shakes their head. And what do you think your partner thinks or says? Does your partner say something in reference to a nigger or a nigga?
Now, you know what they're thinking right? Most white people hide behind smiling faces of prejudice because they were taught that being pretentious is acceptable for the world that we live in today. Because, you know that racism no longer exists, right? That's what white people say, And that is what niggas say. Are these niggas out of touch with reality?
Firstly, racism is in the hands of those with money and power. So, wealthy white people, with money and power are the ones who control the way we live. They are the racists. The other's are just prejudice. So, all of the white people who are in the room, who desire to be black, just for a day, raise your hand.
Well...don't worry, I'll wait.
None! That's what I thought.
So now, black people, everyone who would like to be white, even for a day, raise your hand.
Damn, I didn't think that everyone would raise your hands.
Why? Because you cannot hide black skin. When you walk into the room, you draw immediate attention from whites. How are you treated while you drive or do everyday activities?
I would love to be white for a day. As Paul Mooney says" The complexion for the protection for the collection" In other words a world of privilege. Where no one judges you automatically. And yes, a white person can be whomever or whatever they want to be. Not a black person. Come on, be real. If you were white you could walk into any business atmosphere, tell the white folks that you are Barbara Bush's third cousin. and you would make an impression.
If you were white you could lie, lie, lie and get away with it. Like Bernie Made-off. Why would anyone invest money with someone and their last name was made-off. He made of with their money. Ha-Ha...about time.
But back to being white, you are lying to yourself if you say that you would not want to be white, even for a day. Look at all of the things that happened under ex-president agent orange. Racists came out of the wood work like mice looking for peanut butter and they have been emboldened.
So, today close your eyes and imagine what you could do if you were white. And then, get about the business of doing it!